EMERGENCY ALERT! THIS IS NOT A TEST!

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 03/01/2016 at 12:17 • Filed to: None

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ORANGE ALERT IN EFFECT FOR DUKES, BARNSTABLE, AND PLYMOUTH COUNTIES. MY BABY SISTER JUST GOT HER LICENSE. OFFICIALS RECOMMEND STAYING INDOORS AND OFF ROADS. DRIVING BAN MAY BE ISSUED IF CONDITIONS WORSEN.

HammerheadFistpunch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/01/2016 at 12:21

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Is her name Amber? Cause otherwise you are basically broadcasting that your babysitter kidnapped someone.

Grindintosecond > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/01/2016 at 12:23

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Has the National Guard been notified?!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > HammerheadFistpunch 03/01/2016 at 12:24

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Fixed, you monstrous pedant.

crowmolly > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/01/2016 at 12:24

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BRB buying PPG and DuPont stock

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Grindintosecond 03/01/2016 at 12:25

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RESERVES HAVE BEEN PLACED ON STANDBY PENDING FURTHER ASSESSMENT OF THREAT LEVELS

HammerheadFistpunch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/01/2016 at 12:26

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I like jokes, but Amber alerts jokes...aren’t as funny to me as a dad. Not to mention the fact that taken out of the context of oppo, this could have potentially landed your babysitter and eventually you in hot water. I mean it would have taken a facebook share and a few moms to get your fake amber alert on the news.

Grindintosecond > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/01/2016 at 12:28

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Strategic Air Command has launched their airborne standby bombers!

dietryng > HammerheadFistpunch 03/01/2016 at 12:30

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siSter........but yeah on the whole amber alert thing.

JEM > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 03/01/2016 at 16:46

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I never go south of the mass pike, am I safe?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > JEM 03/01/2016 at 17:03

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The threat has been contained for now